qozxe:

if i stay in bed i’ll be warm

if i get in the shower i’ll also be warm

but the distance between the bed and the shower

no

that is not warm


so-humorous:

One migration


organmeat:

This describes my entire texting relationship with everyone


sgtfarron:

i’ve never broken a bone so i’m probably indestructible 


tsukihi:

IM DEAD AS HELL


phoneticmeow:

britney2007spears:

fun on the right, business on the left

I’m seriously concerned my left or her left



hylianears:

notafuckingwizard:

Favourite Australian saying: “have a good one”. Have a good what? We’ll never tell. You’ll never know Australian secrets.

who’s gonna take the 82 hour trip down to no where land to tell these people half the english speaking world uses their apparently exclusive phrases


andrewlx:

turbotwintastic:

your move, Nickelodeon. 

SHAAAAADDEEE


internetmessiah:

Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?